Fake Samuel

Occasionally, out of town yokels will see me on the street and think "oh it's Zack from Saved by the Bell" or "hey is that Brad Pitt" or "he must be someone important-look at his entourage and the way he carries himself and orders all those people around." These yahoos thought I was a big name celeb and demanded my picture. After taking my usual fee, I acquiesed.

...another room. Everytime I wake up I'm in another location. It's a little unsettling. And they wonder why I fight them on naps sometimes.

So the folks got me this Bumbo seat the other day. You know them . They're those minimum security prisons for babies that parents buy when they want the appearance of a happy baby but don't want to spend the time with them. Yea it kinda sucks. Anyway, I make sure they know I'm not happy.

Just wanted you to have a tiny glimpse into how the other half lives. This was my lunch today: macaroni & cheese, tomatoes, and grapes. Ok, collect yourself. You may have had a grape once, when you found one in the trash, dumpster diving at a country club. Or a tomato left discarded and half eaten at a high class restauant you used to bus tables at. But this was my lunch-a plateful of such delicacies. For a glimpse into my life: you're welcome.

Ok? Happy? You probably gave it to me. And now I'm the one who's running like a faucet. And it's not my fault I can't blow my nose and I have a terrible aversion to the bulb suction. I have a cough and I'm achy. WHERE IS MY TYLENOL? What if this is cancer? Great there I go again now I'm gonna spend my nap today thinking about that. Awesome. Hey come here once. I have a present for your shirt.