My people
New Office
So I just moved into my new office. Apparently the previous employee still works here. He keeps coming by when I'm trying to get my work done, messing with my stuff, pressing all my buttons, etc. It's fairly annoying.
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Sometimes I grunt
and every time I do, everyone around me tries to describe what I'm thinking. You know, "he's happy" or "he's making noises and that's fun for him" or "he's pooping" or whatever. But they're wrong. Wanna know what I'm thinking? Sometimes, yea, I'm pooping. Sometimes I'm contemplating "should I poop?" or "should I poop now?" Sometimes I just did poop and I'm kinda mashing it in good, to make it harder to remove. And sometimes I'm pooping. Oh I said that already. Anyhoo.
Requests
Not surprisingly, people are surprised and disappointed at my recent absence from the blog. Do not worry people, I assure you, I am alive and well. I liken my plight to that of a missionary working under an oppressive regime. News flows in and out of the country, but at times the goverment cracks down. And they occasionally beat their citizens. And the citizens occasionally pee in places they're not supposed to. And go on hunger strikes. And stage protests and sit-ins. Etcetera. You get it. But fear not, "we will overcome." They cannot hold me back with their bedtimes and naptimes, their imposed restrictions on my SuperWhy watching or blueberry consumption, their insistence on "respect" and "listening to mama" and "be gentle with the X*", their "are you poopy?" or "I smell poopies" or "want to go on the potty?", their complete lack of trust in me as a person to be able to regulate my own bodily functions, time ma
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