Fake Samuel

I can't believe I'm out shopping on the day after Christmas.

So at least today when I woke up I was on daddy. Contrary to what Samuel writes of the Folks, we seem to get along just fine. He let's me poke his eyes and scratch his face and stuff. Anyway apparantly all I got for Christmas this year was some clothes and a screwdriver set. Not the best in the toy department, but I do appreciate the opportunity to do some woodworking. Just as soon as I obtain some fine motor control that is.

Given the current financial crisis, I thought I would provide my knowledgable viewpoint on the situation. Money, apparently, is something of some importance. While it does come in the form of delicious looking coins, it also comes in the form of nice bendy cards. While I am never allowed to bend these cards, I can only assume this is where their value comes from. Apparently, because of how much fun these cards are to bend and play with, our country has a lot of them and we value them highly. Now, some people have too cards, and those who have them are afraid of getting them taken away. I assume they are afraid of people like me, who have no cards, but want them. The Folks won't give me one. So my thoughts: just give me the card.

Occasionally, out of town yokels will see me on the street and think "oh it's Zack from Saved by the Bell" or "hey is that Brad Pitt" or "he must be someone important-look at his entourage and the way he carries himself and orders all those people around." These yahoos thought I was a big name celeb and demanded my picture. After taking my usual fee, I acquiesed.

...another room. Everytime I wake up I'm in another location. It's a little unsettling. And they wonder why I fight them on naps sometimes.

So the folks got me this Bumbo seat the other day. You know them . They're those minimum security prisons for babies that parents buy when they want the appearance of a happy baby but don't want to spend the time with them. Yea it kinda sucks. Anyway, I make sure they know I'm not happy.

Just wanted you to have a tiny glimpse into how the other half lives. This was my lunch today: macaroni & cheese, tomatoes, and grapes. Ok, collect yourself. You may have had a grape once, when you found one in the trash, dumpster diving at a country club. Or a tomato left discarded and half eaten at a high class restauant you used to bus tables at. But this was my lunch-a plateful of such delicacies. For a glimpse into my life: you're welcome.