Why I mispronounce words

On occasion, I'm asked to say certain words, apparently for the
amusement of others. There are other times when I'm asked to repeat
certain words - often repeatedly - until the listener thinks I said it
"right" or they finally understand that I DON'T CARE. Anyhoo. Can
you blame me for throwing in a few mispronounced words? The Folks are
so easily frustrated. For example they can't stand it that I call all
of their "Jason" friends: "Jesus." Or that I prefer to pronounce
every letter in words like "leaf" (leeaaf) or "clean" (clee-aan). I
don't buy that whole A after E crap. Or whatever it is. Basically if
its a rhyme that supposed to tee-aach me English, I don't buy it.
Anyhoo.

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